employment sucks

yes, this whole looking for a job thing sucks. i lied to my employer and told her i intended to be around for the next year so that she would give me a job, a real job that actually kindof pays. more than i'm making at least. but i don't know if i'll be around and with all of me i don't want to be around. like, i'm actually experiencing guilt. after how bad they've treated me, i feel bad for telling them that i might be around. they're lucky to have me, but still i have morals, and lying feels bad. i don't know what to do with myself in a cutthroat world, even when i'm bleeding out the neck. what do you all think, was it justified? is it ever?
but, more importantly, was the war justified? there are other important things in life to think about above and beyond my employment, and i'm particularly interested in hearing what you have to say naomi?