the last days

today was my final day of work. no more work. i am officially unemployed, AGAIN. i'm trying to look at the bright side. i'll miss those kids; i didn't want to leave.
my aunt told me after school today that one of my favorite children (who of course is a problem child--how else do they become my favorite if they're not a problem child?) said very matter-of-factly a few days ago, "you know, there's something that's been bothering me lately. i hear voices that tell me to do bad things, and i look around, but no one's there." his mom's schizo, and his brother shows signs of it too. doesn't have a dad. doesn't have enough food. he's a kid i just want to take under my wings and give love to until he's grown so that he won't have such a hard life; and we all know i'm not all that nurturing. but, i guess this is a good thing, social services is getting involved now and hopefully something good will come of it. that is the story of most of these kids' lives, which is sad whether they're my favorites or not. and i am so sad to leave them.
but i guess it's those things which make me want my doctorate so that i can help children like him. i love that kid, i hope someone raises him up in love like that so he'll know how special and valuable he is. i guess it's always hard to leave children who need stability in their lives because their parents are at war, or in jail, or just not around--physically or emotionally; and to whom you provide stability. i love those kids. i'm going to be back someday.