spring is my favorite season. i wish i could describe its fullness and beauty to you, but it is hardly comprehensible to me. these--some of the most beautiful things in life--i fear, are those things we cannot always share with one another...the way the air fills your lungs, the way the wheat and flowers begin to sag because they are so full--just as those who are full of years begin to stoop.
living in L.A. is difficult, i saw someone has written. i am glad i am not the only one who thinks so, because i consider it to be so. one would not think this, never having lived there, or even having grown up there. it has all the world can offer--in just one city! so much to do, so much to have, so much opportunity! but it is so much about politics, images, and pretty things. where are the beautiful things about life in L.A.? being surrounded by easy things, pretty things, makes it difficult to recognize the value in difficult things, those that take effort, those that do not constantly fly by our fingertips. i recognized this when i came back home; and i fear losing this understanding again as i leave. it was a difficult transition coming back here, and i think my loss of knowing that is why.
spring really is incredibly beautiful. but, as i suppose we know, "april is the cruellest month" as the ground churns up things that have had the luxury of slumber all through winter. the winter in its stillness really is quite useful, and in many ways, necessary. los angeles could use some winter. today, today, i do not want to go back.