war and peace

i don't really like reading tolstoy. he seems fatalistic or deterministic in a sense: our actions have nothing to do with our own decisions and we are formed by our past experiences which determine what we think, and how we make our decisions, which aren't really our decisions because we are God's puppets.
his writing style, i feel, is desultory, which i understand somewhat because of the original printing and the need for that type of organization, but i feel like he simply describes things as they are and how one action causes a following one. but yet, there is nothing redeeming about life because it simply is and we have no power to change it or find joy in it. it seems like even people's happiness, like natasha's, is childish and unfounded; celebrations are distractions, even in times of peace, though not for enjoying others and life, only to keep up face and create something cohesive in society.
despite these things, i think he's really good at describing people's personal experiences, and the fleeting feelings they have in defining moments in their lives.
but even still, these are mostly shallow and temporary. i don't feel like there's much substance to the life he describes here. i'm excited to finish the book, it is certainly not my favorite, and i'm sure some may think that sacreligious, but he is very...calvinistic.