no they'll never catch me now.

i just did so shitty on the GRE. good thing it's not a real test of my intelligence.

for like five minutes i was pissed and wanted to cry, thinking that my life was over and that i should just domesticate myself and find a man to marry whose "plan" i could align myself with, so that i could homeschool his children, clean his house, cook his food, and be a wife. but then i realized that just because the GRE does not test my trigonometry skills, which are exceptional, but tests my algebra skills (sort of, i just plain think it's a shitty test and always have--even before it told me it thinks i'm stupid), which suck and always have, does not mean that i am bad at life. i probably also would've done better if i believed in the test and cared (we all know i believe in myself...). so to make myself feel better i want to buy music, but don't have any money. this is more frustrating than my shittiest-ever-of-all-existence test scores.

too much left-brain stimulation makes me feel dead. someone take away these concomitant failings.

so now i may not get into grad school, and if i don't, then i'll join the peace corps or travel europe. perhaps i need that more before i try to help people. i just don't have anyone to travel with. maybe _______ will drop out of school for the fifth time and go with me. at any rate, i'm not a complete failure; everyone was still smiling at me when i opened up my visa envelope.