B gave me makeup for Christmas

Should I use it? This is the dilemma- to give in to the superficiality of others and be noticed, or go on not putting time into things that I think are a waste of time. But the boy thought I was gay, and I could hardly blame him, I hide my femininity behind baggy pants and tangled hair. I uncovered my mirrors when he came over, I thought he might think that it was weird for a girl to cover her mirrors. I think it's weird that we stare at ourselves all the time. I hardly know what I look like, I'm as used to my face as I am to a blank sheet of paper. But perhaps there is some medium. I think I will wear tighter clothing, mini-skirts and ug-boots. And butterfly clips in my hair, and sparkly lip gloss, pink shirts with hearts that say 'princess' or 'daddy's girl.'

Jared once said that me and Wendy need to put ourselves 'out there' more, this was why we didn't have boyfriends. (This was Wendy pre-Mark, obviously) I think this is partly true. I'm afraid to call that boy back, he makes me nervous and I'm terrible on the phone, so I haven't. And we're friends, I know him pretty well, but I'm afraid to call him. I blame Biola, the lack of interaction between male and female has made me blush when I sit next to a boy because his pinky is only a couple inches away from mine. And the mere possibility of dating makes it impossible because I become freakishly giddy. And all of this happens with me having no clue if he's interested at all, it being somewhat inappropriate this early in our acquaintance to ask such a question. So I don't put myself out there, but I refuse to accept responsibility. I will blame Biola until I die a spinster.

I feel like I hardly know what is going on with everyone. Liz is applying to schools. She is writing essays. When do you go back Mary? Hang in there, hopefully you might make enough money this summer to move out. I'm sorry I have nothing better to say. And happy birthday to Molly.