A child

That is what Emmitt is. He wakes me up at all hours of the night. And in the morning, he claws my head (at 6 am!) until I get up to get him food. And then at 8 he does it again. As if I don't remember that I just fed him two hours ago. It would be okay if I really cared about him enough to feed him and give him all the attention he desired, but really it just makes me angry. I swear at him (!) and push him off the bed. It would not be bad at all if he didn't stab me with his death-claws. But it hurts. I don't know how my parents stand it. I could lock him in the bathroom, but I think this would be mean, so I won't let myself do it. One of these mornings, though, I might just lose it.
Any suggestions for the Christmas break book? I'm thinking Les Miserables. I've never read it. We could all read it. Or A portrait of the artist as a young man. Or the devils. Actually, I think we could fit in Joyce and one long one. Joyce and Hugo. Who's with me? I'm really excited for the Hugo, actually. Aren't you??
Hmm, what else? Today I do not feel like a failure. But that is just today. And my cat is happy because I picked him up and rubbed his head. And I went on a run. 2 good things! And life is manageable. Christmas is my favorite. I got B a Christmas present. I think I know what I'm going to get Wendy. Have you guys ever read Till we have faces? I think it is definitely the best book C.S. Lewis wrote. If you don't have it I will send you my copy. It is so worth reading. I'm not joking. Almost as much as Mark's blog. I read the end again today. How do I have time to do all these things, you ask, to pet my cat and run and reread the ends of books? I don't, I will be killing myself tomorrow. Peace out, friends, goodnight.
(Why is this book so good? Because it shows the answers to our struggles and pain cannot be worked out in propositions, because our pain can hardly be worked out this way. And it portrays selfishness in such an interesting light, we are all so selfish. And the person of Christ is the answer, and we become like him. It is so beautiful, I love it. It is not at all trite like some of the early Lewis.)
One other thing, I think that I grow bad ideas when I do not talk about things with you all. Like today in the grad student BS (ha. bible study) I am in, I said that I don't think we need self-control, that if I don't feel like doing something perhaps I should change my heart. (My deep heart, I need to get in touch with my deep heart, deep inside, hidden, we all have a deep heart, I learned this from I-forget-his-name, but he sure knows that in my deep heart I want to be beautiful and to share in his adventure.) Of course, this is idiotic, we all do things we don't feel like doing, as far as getting out of bed, sort of trivial actions that we know we should do. I suppose what I meant was pertaining more to forgiveness and love and the like. But I didn't say this, I said something totally stupid. I thought that they should kick me out. "You're too stupid for our BS, we are not wasting our time on you anymore." But they didn't, I am grateful. Shoot, perhaps this bad thing cancels out the two good things I did today and I am back down to being a failure.