Choose your own adventure part II

Okay losers, even though you didnt chose your own adventure, i'll post part 2 anyway.

Option A

You feel a little awkward about what you've resolved to do. After all, you don't want to leave embarrassing butt prints on the machine for the first person who comes in tomorrow. However, you know the look on your friends' faces will be priceless when they realize what you have sent them. "Friends come first" you tell yourself. You then proceed to hop up onto the copier (with your thong underwear on) and make 10 copies for your closest friends. Strange how glass that was once so cold can warm so quickly as that beam of light scans the surface! Quite pleased with yourself, you return to your desk and convert your cheeky prank into holiday greeting sure to get laughs from your less savory friends, creativley making your own envelopes from brightly colored company fliers. "Time to go home!", you tell yourself as you walk toward the elevator. You are so excited about the remarks you know are sure to come that you don't even notice that one of the cards falls out of the stack and lands on the floor. The next morning your homophobic co-worker Juan comes into the office extra early. Jaun is probably your least favorite co-worker. He is vain, presumptious, and a bit of a whiner. It is his birthday and being the narcissist that he is, he wants to be at his desk first thing in the morning so that everyone who gets off the elevator will have to say hi and tell him "Happy Birthday". On his way to his desk he sees the fallen envelope and assumes it is for him. Greatly offended upon opening it he takes it straight to your supervisor alleging sexual harrassment. Unfortunatley for you, you signed your name on the card and you are fired.

Option B

After experiementing with various chairs, you find the optimal vehicle that is both aerodynamic and permits powlerful leg thrusts for propulsion. You've mentally planned a route that traverses the entire floor, but avoids precarious obstacles like artificial trees and expensive office equipment. With a quick thrust of your right leg you start to race down the aisle. How exhiliarting to feel the wind in your hair whilst not fearing any bugs splattering on your teeth! You clock your first lap at 7 minutes 45 seconds. "I can totally get that down to 6 minutes!" you tell yourself with bravado. Your second lap is better at 7 min 3 seconds. You are getting a little tired but want trt one more time before you go home. This time, with a running start you leap onto your chair. You lose your balance for a moment, but charge on once you've regained your equilibrium. You're rounding the last turn when you see a ripple in the carpet ahead. "How did that get there?". Before you have time to fully process this thought and take evasive action you've hit it and the chair flys out from underneath you. You face-plant into the elevator doors and are knocked unconscious. You awake the next morning surrounded by concerned faces. Too embarrased to tell them what really happened, you allow everyone to assume you were mugged and take personal leave to "pull yourself together".

Option C

you begin winding the rubber bands in a a small mass but then the unthinkable happenes. one of the rubberbands snapps and stings you in your eye. oh the agony! havig completely lost the vision in your right eye you become affectionately known as the cyclops around the office. unfortunately this secures your fate as an unmarried sap.